The Darker Half: Attack of the Replicas
by Claire Jones
Summary: Post Series. Chapter Five, an interlude, is uploaded. The STNJ members decide to investigate a suspicious package Amon receives at the office with shocking consequences. Or maybe not. Depends on your twisted mind.
1. Chapter One: Stand Alone

_The following parody is based on the series WHR owned by Sunrise and Bandai._

This is based on another story I wrote named The Dark(er) Half. Unexpected, I know. You can find it listed in my profile._

* * *

_

The children quickly rushed to where the old woman sat and took their places upon the floor. A hush fell over the room as she opened the book she held. The woman smiled lovingly at her grandchildren gathered before her. 

"Are you ready to hear an ancient tale full of amazement and awe?" she mysteriously began.

"Don't amazement and awe mean roughly the same thing in this context?" the oldest of the children asked perplexed.

"Well, yes actually. But that's neither here nor there." The old woman pursed her lips annoyed the young girl had stolen her thunder. "Anyway, I tell you now the continuing story of Amon, Robin and Bushtit as they face a new threat – the attack of the replicas!"

"But the last time you told this tale you said it was the attack of the similitude," a different girl piped up.

"Hey, didn't Grandma one time call the story _Revenge of the Bushtit_?" another girl inquired as she struck a thinking pose.

"Yeah," a boy spoke up in back, "and I think the time before _that_ it was the attack of the doppelgangers (1)."

"What's a dumplegugger?" a small girl responded confused.

"_Doppelganger_," a boy in glasses corrected. "Let me get my dictionary."

"You carry a dictionary with you?"

"Yes. Now let me see. Huh. Doppelganger: a person or things that doppelgangs (2)." He frowned. "That's not right."

"I thought a doppelganger was your evil twin that no one else can see," the first girl who had spoken countered.

"Uh-uh," another boy shook his head. "In the video game I play, a doppelganger is a shapeshifter."

"Shh!" the youngest boy sitting in front seriously hissed as he pressed a finger to his lips.

"Thank you, dear." The old woman resumed her former monologue. "Now, as I was saying, this is a great tale of wonder – a story so magnificent, it will render you speechless and mute."

"Aren't speechless and mute –"

"Be quiet!"

* * *

Robin and Amon quickly made their way down the hall of the hospital. The two would usually have been thankful for the absence of Bushtit (3), but today they had a much larger problem at hand. A witch in the three's custody had escaped earlier that morning and none of them knew what became of the witch as he simply vanished while they dutifully stood guard. 

Or, at least, that was the story Amon, Robin and Bushtit would have told if anyone else knew well enough to ask. The truth behind the tale was slightly different. The day began in much the same as it usually did, with the threesome ordered to watch a suspected witch restrained in a detention cell at Raven's Flat. While Robin left to retrieve her seventh cup of double-shot espresso for the day, Bushtit started flirting with Amon. Already a liberal consumer of coffee beverages, Robin's intake had drastically increased since the addition of her identical twin sister to the STN-J. Upon returning to the detention center, Robin found Bushtit attempting to canoodle with Amon. For his part, the hunter was frantically trying to shed himself of the parasite attached to his arm. Instantly incensed, Robin quietly launched into a tirade of how unprofessional it was to make advances on coworkers while on duty. _Especially_ by one still underage she reminded, prying her sister from Amon. During the outpouring of mildly harsh words with a few lightly offensive terms thrown in here and there, Bushtit rolled her eyes in the direction of the detention cell.

"Hey, where'd he go?" she asked confused.

Robin and Amon spun towards the locked cell. It was indeed empty.

"What do we do now?" Robin whispered. "I don't even see how the witch escaped."

Amon thought for a moment. "We're not going to say a word about this to anyone."

The girls looked back towards him in disbelief.

"We're not going to say anything," he repeated slowly. "We're going to go out and track this witch down ourselves and return him to the cell before anyone realizes what happened.

"Will that work, Amon?" Robin looked up at the dark attractive hunter, a hint of doubt upon her face. She remained slightly unsure that this plan would prove successful. If Amon thought it would work, however, so could she. In Robin's eyes, Amon was a hero who saved her from death on multiple occasions. Although, come to think of it, Amon was _responsible_ for several of those incidents. Hadn't she been afraid of him before specifically because it seemed so likely that Amon would eventually hunt her as well? Wasn't she supposed to be preoccupied with the escaped witch and not how Amon had doggedly pursued her all those months ago? Robin shook her head at this and returned her focus back to Amon's handsome face. She inwardly sighed. _He is so dreamy_.

"You actually want us to track down this witch again?" Bushtit asked uncertainly. "It was hard enough to capture him the first time without killing him."

"Actually, Bushtit, you're going to stay here and distract the other STN-J members from realizing the prisoner has escaped."

"How do I do that?"

Amon scratched his head as he searched for a diplomatic way to tell the young witch that she annoyed the hell out of everyone. "You…just have a way with people…that distracts them…from the task at hand," he said haltingly, hoping she would accept his words at face value.

Bushtit cocked her head and gave Amon a quizzical look. "Huh?"

Amon tried again. "What I mean to say is, you have a knack for turning the attention of a room towards you."

"Did you just use the word knack?"

"Oh, gosh darn it!" Robin interjected. "He means you can be annoying."

"_Oh_." Bushtit suddenly frowned. "Hey, wait. I'm not annoying!" she whined.

Amon ran a hand over his face as he rolled his eyes. "Just go upstairs and keep everyone occupied. It shouldn't take us long to find the witch. There are not many places he could get to so quickly."

Bushtit grudgingly headed for the elevator. Robin let out a sigh of relief as her twin passed out of view. She had always wanted a sister while growing up an only child in the convent. As a young girl, she envisioned them sharing secrets in a garden or giggling together in bed as they tried to fall asleep. The facsimile known as Bushtit had squashed that dream the moment she arrived. Robin now just wanted her antithetical twin to pack her bags and fly away from her life and psychopathic, yet very attractive, witch hunting partner.

Searching the city by vehicle, Amon and Robin could not find a solitary clue as to the witch's whereabouts no matter how hard they looked. Amon reluctantly began to suspect they might not be able to find the witch without some sort of additional assistance. Robin hesitantly mentioned that Michael could possibly help. Still loath to involve anyone else, Amon obstinately refused. Robin gave him a wearied look before gazing back out the car's window. Amon could be so stubborn sometimes, though Robin was attracted to him enough to overlook such a small fault.

In a stroke of luck, a call arrived about a witch seriously injured in a bizarre accident and taken to the neighborhood hospital. The description Michael relayed sounded remarkably similar to that of the missing witch. Amon grabbed the communicator from Robin's hand.

"We'll go to the hospital now to check it out."

"Hey, aren't you supposed to be guarding that witch in the detention center?"

"Uh, yes. Robin will stay behind while I go to the hospital."

"But the GPS says Robin's communicator is moving at 120 km/h down a highway."

"Damn it, Michael! Everything's taken care of." Amon rudely hung up the communicator as Robin's face displayed bewilderment at his flustered behaviour.

"Wow. _That_ was odd," Michael commented, hanging up the phone. Looking around, he saw the other STN-J members weren't listening. _Goddamn self-absorbed hunters_," he mumbled under his breath.

"What did Michael say about the witch's injuries?" Amon asked of Robin, handing her the communication device.

"The hospital was unable to determine what exactly happened to the man. The witch releases a mild sonar signal anytime a doctor approaches."

"Like a sonar ping used by the navy?"

"No," Robin said slowly. "Apparently, it's much more similar to that of a whale or dolphin."

Amon turned away from watching the road long enough to give her a disbelieving look. "Robin, are you positive Michael wasn't joking? You do have a penchant for being easily duped."

"No, I think Michael was telling the truth," she replied defensively, then frowned. "Do we even know what the escaped witch's craft is?"

"Solomon could not identify this witch's power. That was the reason they ordered us to take him in alive instead of turning him into orbo like we do with the rest of the witches."

Robin nodded. "I see."

They shortly arrived at the hospital to behold a rather large commotion. Making their way through the maze of identical hospital hallways, the two hunters silently prayed that this would be their missing witch. Robin and Amon began to hear a strange noise emanating from the room directly ahead. To both it was a lilting otherworldly sound punctuated with odd squeals. Amon looked flabbergasted.

"It really _does_ sound like a humpback whale."

"Actually, Amon, that song more closely resembles that of a Southern Right whale. A humpback whale has a much more pleasant edge when it reaches the upper registers (4)."

Before Amon could inquire as to how Robin knew so much about the calls of whales, a series of sudden sharp sound bursts reverberated through the hallway. A doctor staggered from the room holding his hand to his bleeding ear (5).

"Damn witch exploded my eardrums!" he angrily shouted.

Amon rushed first into the room gun drawn with Robin closely behind. Inside, they found a man in a hospital gown cowering in a corner with his back to them. Amon carefully aimed his gun at the witch.

"Stand up slowly and prepare to come with us," he ordered.

Without a backwards glance, a distinct and very loud clicking noise sent Amon flying into the wall behind, knocking the orbo gun from his hand. Robin quickly reached into her trademark red coat – by now disgustingly dirty as she was too busy to buy a second or clean the first – and pulled out her glasses. She steeled herself as she waited for the next sonic blast. She was not disappointed. Realizing his attack failed, the witch glanced over his shoulder to look at the young hunter. Robin gasped.

"Amon! It's not him! This isn't the escaped witch!"

Amon, still partially stunned from hitting the wall, attempted to regain his defensive position. He squinted towards the witch and let out a rather long string of expletives when he saw Robin was correct. In response, the witch sent another series of clicks towards Amon. Robin attempted to block the oncoming blast with her fire blast but was a moment too late. She watched in horror as Amon again hit the wall. Robin glared furiously at the witch.

"You will pay for hurting Amon!" she quietly declared.

She sent a barrage of flames towards the witch who effortlessly deflected them with his sonic power. Robin looked dumbfounded as the witch smirked. Robin's shield held momentarily as another series of clicks hit her, but the witch attacked far stronger than she anticipated. Her shield subsequently collapsed and the force of the sonic burst pushed her back into a cluster of medical supplies on a rolling table. She fell to the floor with a wail while the witch let out a squeal of victory. His moment of success was short-lived, however, as Amon fired off an entire round of orbo bullets into the witch at close range.

Robin stood up and looked at the unconscious witch bewildered. "Wasn't that a little much?"

"No," he tersely replied. Amon was _pissed_. He had a reputation to maintain and no Southern Right whale-sound-producing-freak would destroy it. "Let's go."

"What about the witch?" Robin asked as she struggled to keep up with Amon.

"We'll leave him. He won't be going anywhere for awhile."

* * *

Bushtit hovered over Karasuma's desk watching her type up a report. The veteran hunter attempted to keep her outward appearance neutral but was quickly failing, as she became increasingly more annoyed. The young witch continued to linger oblivious to the older woman's growing impatience. 

"Wow, Japanese is so fascinating," Bushtit remarked as she read over Karasuma's shoulder.

The hunter glanced over to Doujima at her side with a beseeching look. The blonde continued reading her fashion magazine, conveniently ignoring the silent plea of help. _She_ had already dealt with the bothersome cockroach for the past hour. Sakaki had no intention of helping either as Bushtit had harassed _him_ before Doujima. Michael glanced over to the hunters before grumpily returning to his hacking. Robin's clone didn't actually bother him much, but Michael was incensed since the others had begun ignoring him. They could deal with the irritating girl all on their own without any interference from him. Michael inwardly hoped Bushtit would continue her exceptionally bothersome actions the rest of the day.

Kosaka grumpily walked into the room. "Alright, I see Bushtit, now where are Amon and Robin? I need to speak with you three on how to get that witch transferred to the Factory."

Michael opened his mouth to answer, but Bushtit spoke first. "They're with the witch in the detention center. I'll go get them."

With a look of incredulity, Michael stared at her a moment before returning to his computer. He shook his head. If no one wanted to listen to him, then he wouldn't say a word to contradict the young witch. Michael frowned at his computer as he clicked the button to close an open window. Seven more windows instantly popped up in its place. How was it the STN-J could afford orbo, little business card makers and communicators with tiny windows one could peer into and read streaming data, but they couldn't afford one of those nifty little pop-up blockers? Bureaucrats.

"Sakaki, go with her," Kosaka ordered.

"Oh, it's okay," Bushtit countered quickly. "I can do it myself."

"Yeah, boss," Sakaki agreed. "She can go get Amon and Robin _on her own_."

"I need _you_ to watch the witch while the others are up here speaking with me."

Grumbling, Sakaki grudgingly rose from his chair and joined an increasingly jittery Bushtit. "Let's go," he conceded.

The two made their way down to the first floor by means of the elevator. As they neared the door of the detention center, Bushtit imagined ways she could possibly distract Sakaki before he noticed the witch had escaped. She was pretty sure Amon and Robin were still looking for the missing witch since she had not received a call from either. Bushtit finally decided she would knock Sakaki over the head with a heavy object as he went to peer into the cell. Furtively, she began to scan the area for a suitably blunt item.

"What are you doing?" Sakaki asked suspiciously.

"Nothing," she responded with the most innocent look she could muster - which wasn't much.

He gave her a strange look before placing a hand on the doorknob. In a last ditch effort, Bushtit grabbed Sakaki by his other arm and spun him towards her. He looked down in surprise.

"You know I really like you, right?"

"What?" he hollered, yanking his arm from her grasp. "This is no time for games. We need to take Robin and Mr. Amon to see Kosaka now."

Irritated, he turned to open the door. Bushtit frantically looked for a weapon as Sakaki entered the detention center. _Have to do something quickly._

"Hey, where are Amon and Robin?" she heard him ask confused.

Walking into the room Bushtit froze as her eyes fell on the witch sitting on the bed in the cell. Her shock was quickly replaced by rising anger. _Those goddamned bastards didn't even bother to tell me they had found the witch_! Bushtit retreated from the room and began to call Robin. She let out a long string of obscenities as soon as her twin answered the phone.

"Bushtit, is that you?" Robin asked in surprise.

"Why didn't you tell me you had already found the missing witch?" she angrily hissed.

"_What_! What are you talking about? We _didn't_ find him. The witch at the hospital Michael told us about wasn't him."

"But the guy's back in his cell," Bushtit responded confused. She heard soft murmuring as Robin quickly conferred with Amon.

"We're on our way right now."

Barely six minutes after Bushtit hung up her communicator, the door of the detention center opened. Robin and Amon appeared looking sufficiently out of breath. Bushtit glanced over relieved that she could stop incoherently attempting to explain the two's mysterious disappearance. Understanding flew over Sakaki's face as his eyes landed on the hunters.

"I _see_. While you two were supposed to be watching the witch, you thought it'd be okay to shirk your responsibilities and sneak off alone together? Then you guys get Robin's _sister_ to cover for you?"

Instantly, Robin's face tuned bright red from embarrassment while Amon's turned white from horror.

"No," he exclaimed frantically. "We just momentarily stepped out so I could show Robin how to cock my pistol, I mean handle my weapon, I mean…oh goddamn it, it's not what you think!"

"_Right_," Sakaki replied, obviously unconvinced.

Amon angrily strode past Sakaki and Bushtit into the detention room. He heard her call out from behind. "That Kosaka guy wants to speak with us upstairs about transferring the witch to the Factory."

Amon barely acknowledged her as he spoke. "Sakaki, tell Kosaka we'll be there in a minute."

"But –"

"_Just do it_."

As soon as the young hunter had left – muttering the whole way – Amon leaned forward and examined the witch.

"How did you get back in your cell?" he asked menacingly.

The witch looked taken aback. "I haven't gone anywhere."

Amon narrowed his eyes suspiciously. "What do you mean? We all saw the empty cell."

The witch stared blankly at the imposing figure in front of him before his face brightened. "Well, I did fall asleep."

"And?"

"I turn invisible," he responded easily.

Amon stared back in disbelief. Robin hesitantly made her way towards the cell.

"You become invisible when you sleep?" she reiterated.

"Yeah," he looked down glumly. "It's a pretty useless power."

"But how did you fall asleep while we were arguing?"

"Oh, well, you see, I grew up in a troubled home. To this day, any time I hear a long, drawn out argument I instantly fall asleep." He continued, oblivious to their disconcerted faces. "Thanks, though. I really needed to get some rest. I had been working way too hard at my job recently."

* * *

A Few Notes (so we don't have another incident like _The Dark(er) Half)_: 

(1) _Attack of the Doppelgangers_ was to be the original title of this story until a certain husband just had to point out that doppelganger is not a synonym for clone. This led to the ensuing argument over the description of doppelganger. Too bad; I liked this title much better. :-(

(2) This is not an actual dictionary entry for doppelganger. The word is derived from German.

(3) An actual bird found in North America. The description Doujima gives in _The Dark(er) Half_ is from information I discovered on the Internet. I had a moment of panic after I wrote TDH when I was unable to find the bird listed in my Audubon Field Guide. Although, now that I'm looking at the book, I see it's for the Eastern Region (smacks head). Anyway, I relaxed after I located some info on the net. I had no idea what I'd do if Bushtit wasn't a real bird. By that point, Robin's sister had to be Bushtit. I couldn't think of any other name that would do her justice.

**Addendum**: So, I was looking for the fanficrant to put a link on my site and was surprised to read that Bushtit had already been mentioned as a possible name for Robin's twin. I don't have any recollection of this at all. Originally, I had thought about Titmouse when I first read the rant, but decided against using the name specifically because someone else had already mentioned the bird. I either didn't see it and really did think of Bushtit on my own or I did read it and subconsciously filed the name away in my brain. I'm so lame.

(4) It is difficult to accurately describe the varying songs of different whale species. I choose Southern Right whale because that was the only other whale I could remember that sort of resembled a Humpback.

(5) It has been documented that Sperm whales have the ability to render prey insensible just with their sonar noises. Many divers and scientists have first hand experience to attest to the validity of this claim.

* * *

Next time 

Chapter Two: Simulacrum


	2. Chapter Two: Simulacrum

_The following parody is based on the series WHR owned by Sunrise and Bandai._

_

* * *

_

Not long after the missing witch incident, Michael sat busily typing away at his computer in the main STN-J office. He frowned when an urgent e-mail from Solomon headquarters arrived on his screen. Clicking on the spinning envelope icon, the message opened, along with five other new windows. Michael attempted the close the window on top, only for two more pop up in its place. Swearing to himself, the young hacker proceeded to spend the next three minutes closing windows on his computer. Michael eventually gave up his futile efforts and clicked on the original e-mail window.

"That's really weird," he remarked as he read the message. "Hey guys, look at this."

Michael turned to survey the pandemonium behind him when none of the hunters responded to his comment. Sakaki had made the unfortunate mistake of mentioning Doujima's obsession with mobile phone accessories and she did not take it well. The arguement had escalated to the point that Karasuma needed to step in and attempt to negotiate a peace treaty between the two. So far, though, she had not proved successful. Amon, seated at his desk beside Michael, had laid his head upon his desk, wishing he could be anywhere else. The two twins behind him obliviously quibbled amongst themselves over who was the better Tetris player.

* * *

"Two twins, Grandma? Isn't that redundant?" 

"Yes, it is, dear."

* * *

Michael tried again. "Hey, we just received a strange e-mail from Solomon HQ. Isn't anyone interested in what it says?" 

Again, no one noticed the young hacker's attempts to attract their attention. Michael turned back to his computer striving to remain calm. He closed the e-mail window only to have four new windows open. This proved to be the last straw. Michael angrily stood up and turned around.

"You know what? I do a very important job around here for you guys. Once upon a time, not too long ago, you all used to appreciate what I did. Now, none of you even seem to realize I still work at the STN-J."

Michael watched in outrage as the hunters continued quarreling without the hint of an acknowledgement.

"Fine. Screw all of you guys. I'm going home."

Without a backward glance, Michael left the office early that day.

* * *

"Robin! You're late!" Doujima shouted as the girl appeared in the office the following morning. "We need to begin the briefing." 

"Jeez, Doujima," Sakaki said as he looked up from his game boy. "What's gotten into you? You're the one who's always late around here."

"I am not!" she angrily insisted.

"What do you call arriving to the office at least an hour late everyday?"

The girl looked confused as the two young hunters began to argue over Doujima's incessant lateness. She opened her mouth to speak just as Karasuma and Amon presently returned from a meeting in the administrator's office. The young witch gave a glance over her shoulder, face flushing when she caught sight of Amon. Quickly, she looked back to the floor.

"Robin, where's Bushtit?" Karasuma asked. The girl looked up and again opened her mouth, but Doujima broke in before she could reply.

"Oh, that girl is always late. We'll start the briefing and Robin will fill her in later." The blonde roughly shoved the young hunter in the direction of the briefing room.

The hunters filed into the darkened briefing room just as Kosaka huffily arrived. The STN-J really needed a private elevator for his new administrator office – the stairs were killing him. A few minutes after the briefing commenced, a pair of female voices softly drifted in from the main office. Everyone turned to give a collective stare of disbelief as Robin and Bushtit appeared in the doorway. Bushtit shrieked while Robin's eyes grew wide when they caught sight of the familiar girl sitting in Robin's seat.

"A-another one?" the genuine Robin gasped.

Bushtit's face clouded in anger. "What the fu –"

"Bushtit!" Kosaka roared. "Please be more considerate of your new twin – uh – I mean triplet!"

"As I tried to tell you _yesterday_," Michael began, "Solomon HQ sent us another hunter."

"You knew there was going to be another Robin-clone and you didn't say anything?" Sakaki asked surprised.

"_No I did't know **and** I was dealing with a barrage of pop-up windows at the time!_" Michael exclaimed. "I couldn't find much information either except her age, power, a little of her background and – wait – _no one was listening anyway_!"

"Alright already," Sakaki replied holding up his hands. "We all know how bad those pop-ups are."

"Hey Robby-clone, what's your name?" Doujima asked rudely as she leaned towards Robin number three.

All eyes in the room immediately shifted to the young witch. She began to fidget, obviously uncomfortable at being the center of attention.

"Um, well," she began so softly everyone leaned forward to hear more clearly.

"My name is Dickcissel Sena."

"Dickcissel (1)?" Doujima exclaimed doubtfully.

"What is it, Doujima?" Karasuma asked.

"Why did someone name you after a bird resembling a miniature meadowlark found in the Midwest region of North America?"

"When exactly did you become an ornithologist?" Sakaki inquired.

"Actually, she wouldn't be named after a bird but rather Dickcissel Caton, famed Maori Imam of the Snails (2)," Robin corrected.

"You made that up," Karasuma flatly asserted. Robin may have fooled everyone else with that Bushtit Jones (3) crap, but not her. No siree.

Robin looked indignant. "I am _not_. If _you_ had paid more attention to your training at Solomon, you also would be aware of such important historical figures."

"Are there really Imams for snails (4)?" Kosaka quietly inquired of a baffled Hattori.

Dickcissel stole a quick glance at Amon, blushing furiously when she caught his eye. Amon moaned as he put his face in his hands. First, Touko and Robin, then Bushtit and now Dickcissel. It was official: God hated him. No man should have this much trouble with women – or girls – or witches, whatever the hell they were. At least he still had his car. His lovely, shiny, black car.

"So what's your power, Silmarillion (5)?" Bushtit hostilely demanded, her arms crossed over her chest.

"I think you mean simulacrum (6)," her sister corrected.

"My craft is the element of air," Dickcissel replied in a whisper.

"Wow," Sakaki remarked. "She's even more subdued than Robin."

"No kidding," Doujima agreed.

"Welcome to the STN-J, Dickcissel," Kosaka officially greeted. "I'm sure you've already heard of orbo. Would you be interested in using it on hunts?"

The young witch looked back bewildered. "Isn't that extracted from witches you capture? I thought the STN-J no longer used orbo."

"Get used to it, honey," Karasuma said leaning conspiratorially towards Dickcissel. "You're living in the twilight zone now."

The meeting over, the hunters filed out of the briefing room towards their desk. Robin quickly headed over to the coffeepot by the window. She usually preferred double or triple shots of espresso, but regular brewed coffee would do in a pinch. And Robin definitely needed a quick boost after discovering she had yet another unknown and identical sibling.

Doujima cast a worried glance towards Karasuma, who gave a knowing look in return. Robin had developed a very serious problem. The members of the STN-J were becoming more worried as Robin's coffee addiction grew out of control. They knew she had always enjoyed the bitter beverage, but since Bushtit's arrival, her consumption had skyrocketed. With the revelation of yet another sibling, they collectively worried they might find Robin dead one morning lying drowned in a pool of coffee. A couple of weeks prior to Dickcissel's arrival, the STN-J had attempted an intervention with dismal results. Robin had, of course, denied she had a coffee addiction and questioned how such an addiction, if one had it, to a substance as wonderful as coffee could be bad. The group, giving up momentarily, now awaited their next chance to broach the subject.

Having returned from the coffeepot, Bushtit and Robin began to squabble over who would sit in the only chair for the day. Headquarters had still not sent the STN-J another desk so the two continued to share a desk. Bushtit usually sat in the solitary chair since she was the only one who ever bothered to use the computer. If Robin needed any information about a case, she would simply hover over the shoulder of either Michael or Amon. Today, however, Robin needed to type up a report for the previous night's case and thus needed to sit in the lone chair. Dickcissel hesitantly approached the two.

"What are your crafts?" she quietly inquired.

"My craft is the power of water and Robin here has the power of fire," Bushtit replied for the both of them.

"Is this true?" she whispered. "Your personalities appear reversed for your crafts."

"Would you like us to _show_ you our powers?" Bushtit menaced as Robin glared.

Dickcissel's eyes widened in response. "I didn't mean to offend you."

Robin immediately softened while Bushtit continued to remain hostile. "It's all right."

"Robin," Amon called, walking up to the recently reunited triplets. "I need to speak with you."

Dickcissel blushed and averted her eyes again as Amon neared to retrieve Robin. Noticing her reaction, he inwardly sighed and fiercely wished he didn't have to deal with so many clones. Robin happily walked towards the brooding dark hunter while Bushtit appeared upset to be left behind. Before Amon and Robin could leave, though, the clone shyly looked towards them.

"What is your craft, Amon?"

"I don't have one," he icily replied. "I'm a seed."

"Oh, come on, Amon," Doujima called out from behind a magazine. "We all know what your power is."

"What are you talking about, Doujima," he asked annoyed.

"Actually, she's right," Karasuma ageed, smiling. "You have the ability to determine the exact prescription necessary for people with vision problems."

Amon scowled.

"You should have been an obstetrician," Bushtit said seriously.

"I think you mean an optometrist," Sakaki piped up from his desk. "You've already helped, Robin, Bushtit, Kosaka and Miss Karasuma. That's some ability you have there."

"If, uh, Dickcissel here is like the other two, then she will need a glasses prescription as well," Doujima interjected. "You better get started so we don't have another incident reminiscent of the twins."

She was, of course, referring to the many occasions where Robin and Bushtit had, early in their hunting careers at the STN-J, many accidents involving their crafts missing the intended targets. Amon turned on his heel and made his way to the exit, irritated by his comrades' banter.

"_Robin_," he repeated impatiently and hurriedly left the room before someone else poked fun at his latent ability. Growing up, he always had the uncanny knack to predict one's glasses prescription. He couldn't help his bizarre gift and shouldn't be made fun of because of it. Inwardly, however, Amon secretly hoped his dormant craft was something more exciting and befitting of a hunter like himself. It would be an ironic twist of fate if his craft was some lame parlor trick.

Robin hurried to catch up to Amon's side, thankful to be alone with him for once. She looked to his strong profile, watching the way his chin jutted out against the backdrop and how his hair flowed as he steadily walked down the hallway. The way his – her line of thought immediately ceased as Amon snapped his head to look down at her.

"What are you doing?" he asked, paranoid she was having some sort of inappropriate fantasy of him.

"N-nothing," she stammered as her face flushed. Robin desperately hoped Amon didn't realize she was having improper thoughts about him. Entering the elevator she looked up to him. "What did you want to speak to me about?"

The two descended to the bottom floor of Raven's flat in silence with Amon lost in thought. Approaching the well, he turned to face Robin. "Tell me again what Father Juliano explained to you about yourself and Bushtit."

"He assured me that Toudou only gave him one child. I was that child. Father Juliano seemed shocked when I spoke of Bushtit and said he would look into the matter."

"Did Juliano say anything about Maria carrying more than one child?"

Robin frowned. "No, but I didn't get the impression that he knew of any other children besides myself."

Amon looked towards the elevator as he folded his arms across his chest. After a moment of thinking, he looked back at Robin. Her heart skipped a beat when their eyes connected.

"How would you explain the sudden appearance of Bushtit and, uh, Dickcissel, then?"

Robin shrugged. "I don't know. I'm already so confused about Bushtit that I'm not sure what to think about Dickcissel."

"They're evidently related to you somehow."

"Yes, I think that's rather obvious, Amon."

"For now, we'll just keep an eye on them. I want you to go back upstairs and show Dickcissel around the STN-J. Also, make sure Bushtit isn't too mean to her. I need to speak with Michael now about something."

"Amon, could I ask you a question before you leave?" Robin hesitantly inquired.

"What is it?" he answered cautiously. Questions that began this way from Robin always made him nervous.

'When Bushtit first arrived to the STN-J, you had much difficulty telling us apart. Now, you don't have any trouble at all. Why is that?"

Amon froze. It was true that he had initially been unable to tell them apart and thereafter endeavored the week following Bushtit's arrival to discover some sort of mark to distinguish one from the other. Amon had searched their faces for moles or other birthmarks. Nothing. He looked over their gothic dress-covered bodies for slight variations. Nothing. (Most likely, Amon's search would have been made easier if the girls didn't insist on wearing such long bulky clothing.) He had come to a realization one day while lamenting the situation that there _was_ one noticeable difference between the two. Bushtit had larger, erm, breasts than Robin. It actually made some sense given the girl's name. Now, anytime he couldn't tell which twin to whom he spoke, Amon would take a simple small glance between both of the girls and he had his answer. Amon didn't usually have a problem telling them apart when they were with him individually since their personalities were then more easily recognizable. He wasn't about to tell this to Robin, however. The addition of the other two girls already strained the situation between them enough. Amon distractedly wondered if the promise he made to Robin in Zaizan's office applied to her identical siblings as well. He realized she was still looking up at him with large questioning green eyes and quickly thought of a lame excuse.

"Your personality is apparent enough to distinguish you from Bushtit. It was actually rather easy."

Amon relaxed when Robin nodded. He was relieved she had taken it at face value knowing that Bushtit would not have been so easily convinced and would have proceeded to pester him with questions until he cracked. Amon quickly sent her to look for her sisters before she thought to ask any more questions. He returned to the main office in search Michael.

"Pretty strange, isn't it?" Michael asked as Amon sat down at his desk.

"Yes. There's something that's bothering me about this situation, though."

"I know what you mean." Michael, momentarily distracted, attempted to close a new window. Succeeding, he returned his attention to Amon. "We now have three Robins with three different elemental crafts. All we're missing now is the element of earth."

"I want you to look into this for me. First, I want to know why there are so many Robins. Then, I want to know why Solomon sent us Bushtit and Dickcissel. Also, I need to know how these other Robins fit into Toudou's plan."

"Alright, I'll do it," Michael nodded. "I'll also expect another hunter to be sent from HQ in the near future."

"Good." Amon glanced over his shoulder as the three analogous girls returned to the office. It was as though they were different sides of one person. They had identical features and clothing, about identical mannerisms, and three distinct yet similar personalities. Bushtit caught Amon's glance and returned a coy smile. The other two followed the direction of Bushtit's gaze, smiling slightly when their eyes landed upon Amon. He quickly turned away with a grimace. _He_ was another thing they all had in common.

* * *

More Notes (jeez, I shouldn't have to do this): 

(1) An actual bird found in North America. They're kind of cute. The description comes from the Audubon Field Guide to North American Birds: Eastern Region. Other potential candidates for Miss Dickcissel Sena were crow, nuthatch and ovenbird. I'm glad I found Dickcissel, aren't you?

(2) Dickcissel Caton, famed Maori Imam of the Snails IS NOT A REAL OR FICTIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE. I happened to be listening to Tori Amos while I was writing and the name came to me since Steve Caton used to be one of her guitarists. Now, on to the nonsensical obscure famous dude. I first thought he would be the Sudanese Imam of the Elephants. Hmm, wait, most Sudanese are Muslim. Okay, how about those aboriginal guys who live in Australia or New Zealand? Yeah, the Maori people of New Zealand! All right, the Maori Imam of the Elephants. Elephants? Nah, let's go for something more unexpected, like, let's see – SNAILS! Yay! Dickcissel Caton is the famed Maori Imam of the Snails. Makes sense, right? No? Well, you're just weird.

(3) Bushtit Jones, ancient Inuit prince of the Narwhals IS NOT A REAL OR FICTIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE EITHER. Come on, I had Karasuma back in _The Dark(er) Half_ say like three or four different things to point out the absurdity of the name. Jones kind of came out of nowhere, just some blah Western name (I'll point out here that Claire Jones is only a pen name, so no Mary Sue references intended – not that I'm even _remotely _similar to Bushtit). The prince part comes from the same fanficrants post that started this whole parody thing. Someone suggested the bird called a kinglet for the name of Robin's identical sister since Robin is named after Robin Goodfellow, king of the witches. On to the fun part. I first thought of the Navajo and paired them with narwhals. Narwhals are pretty cool; they're the unicorns of the sea! My second thought was that the Navajo and the Narwhal were a little too far apart geographically and maybe a bit too strange even for _this_ nonsense. Hmm, what about Eskimos? Let's call them by their more correct tribal name of Inuit instead. There you go: that's how I came up with the legendary Bushtit Jones, ancient Inuit prince of the Narwhals. Did _that_ one make a little more sense? Still no? What's wrong with you guys?

(4) Sadly, there are neither Imams for snails nor snail Imams.

(5) Title of the Tolkein book published posthumously. I haven't read it, so I don't know anything about the book.

(6) An actual word with a defintion similar to clone or replica. Kind of means something like a defective clone. I briefly considered entitling this story _Attack of the Simulacrums_ before deciding the definition was not exactly what I wanted.

* * *

Next up 

Chapter Three: The Power of Four


	3. Chapter Three: The Power of Four

_The following parody is based on the series WHR owned by Sunrise and Baindai._**

* * *

**The following week was relatively calm since there were few witches that needed hunting. Bushtit and Robin had few difficulties helping Dickcissel ease into her new life as a hunter at the STN-J. The girls, however, proved unsuccessful at convincing the new witch to use orbo during hunts. She had quietly murmured something about how it was barbaric, disgusting and something else Robin and Bushtit had been unable to catch. 

The most important issue now at hand was where Dickcissel should work. Obviously, she couldn't continue to share a desk with her sister when there were already too many squabbles between Robin and Bushtit as it was. That left Kosaka to determine that he should pair her with another STN-J member.

Kosaka scanned the office as he decided which one of his hunters it would be. Karasuma furiously typed a report, hoping Kosaka would find her too busy to interrupt. Similarly, Sakaki frantically searched through files on his computer, pretending to look for a lead in a phantom case. Doujima happened to be out for the day; either shopping or involved in some other spy activity they were of yet unaware. Kosaka frowned as he observed their reactions and dismissed them. He briefly considered Michael, but decided against it once he caught sight of potato chip bags overspilling from his desk onto the floor. Kosaka brightened as Amon returned from waxing his car.

"Ah, Dickcissel, you can share a desk with Amon!"

The young witch's face immediately lit up as her sisters standing behind scowled. Amon didn't bother hiding his displeasure at the news – not even after Kosaka sent him a pointed glare. Amon had had enough of this identical sister fiasco.

"This is perfect," Kosaka continued, "especially since you'll be partnered with Amon and your sisters for the time being!"

Dickcissel enthusiastically began transferring her meager personal belongings to the new desk. Amon watched her a moment before passing by his – _their_ – desk in favor of the briefing room. Michael managed to catch the hunter's eye before he fully walked away. Amon jerked his head towards the conference, indicating he wanted the hacker to follow. The two made their way into the darkened room and took their respective places.

"What have you found?" Amon asked.

"That's just the problem. I've been unable to find any information on what you were looking for. It seems Solomon is keeping the background of these girls very secret."

Amon placed his chin in his hand, brow furrowing. "Why is Solomon doing this? It's doubtless they have sent Bushtit and Dickcissel to join Robin for some important purpose."

"Yes, that's fairly obvious."

"Have you learned if HQ is sending us another hunter yet?"

"Actually, I have. It's the main reason I wanted to speak with you."

"And?"

"They _are_ sending another hunter and it does appear she is an earth craft user."

"Is it another clone?"

"Well, it seemed that way at first, but some of the data doesn't fit."

"Could you stop being cryptic and just tell me what you've found?"

"Of course, that's your distinctive personality trait. The new hunter is an Italian female, but her age is different from Robin's. Also, I managed to find a portrait of the new hunter and it definitely doesn't match."

"Are you sure you hacked the correct files?"

"What do you take me for?" Michael replied offended. "_Of course_ I hacked the right files. Jeez, I've been doing this for quite some time, now."

"We're getting another hunter?" Doujima suddenly hollered from behind.

Amon turned, ready to question why the blonde had been listening in on their conversation when she should be out somewhere shopping. Instead, he remained silent as he discovered all of the STN-J members crowded around the doorway of the briefing room. He looked back towards Michael, signaling for the hacker to take the lead.

"Yes, that's right," the young hacker nodded. "We are getting another hunter."

"That's just crazy," Sakaki interjected. "We were just sent two new hunters."

"This new girl doesn't look like Robin?" Karasuma clarified.

"As much as I can tell, no."

"Then why are we getting _another one_," Bushtit whined.

"We'll just have to wait and see," Amon said seriously from his seat. "Solomon is definitely up to something."

"Yeah, Amon," Karasuma responded as she rolled her eyes. "We kind of already figured that part out."

* * *

The members of the STN-J spent the next week anxiously awaiting the coming of the new hunter. In the meantime, there was much discussion as to why Headquarters would send them three hunters in less then a six-month period. No one could think of any logical, plausible reason for why this would be. Michael continued to determine Solomon's motives regarding the clones by way of his computer skills. No matter how hard he hacked, though, he could not find any information relating to the girls.

Shortly after Dickcissel's arrival, Robin once again contacted Father Juliano about the new identical sister. Amon had actually been the one who suggested she speak with her grandfather and she, of course, had also agreed. The old priest seemed more shocked at the news than even Robin had expected. He promised her that he would quickly find what he could on the matter and get back to her when he had more information from Solomon.

The fateful day of the new hunter's appearance finally arrived one sunny Tuesday. As usual, the team – save Bushtit who was always late for such meetings – assembled in the briefing room and with much difficulty attempted to follow Amon's droning words about the hunt the night before. Even Robin and Dickcissel had trouble paying attention to what the man was saying. Relief flooded through the room as Amon concluded and sat back down in his chair. Next, Michael's related the information he had found the day before on the new hunter and Solomon's plans for the triplets. While telling the group he had found little new information since the last briefing, a familiar figure appeared in the doorway – though, if by familiar one meant Robin's face covered in gothic makeup along with nose and eyebrow piercings and hair dyed coal black.

The others stared dumfounded at the girl before Doujima rudely commented. "Come on, Bushtit, that's not funny. We all know the new hunter doesn't look like you."

The girl stared uncomprehendingly back at Doujima a moment before responding. "What are you talking about? My name is Woodcock (1), not Bushtit. Is this some sort of sick joke? Why would someone name me after a small brownish bird primarily found along the Pacific Coast of North America?"

"_I know what a bushtit is_!" the blonde furiously replied. "I was beginning to wonder why someone named _you_ after a chunky, quail-sized bird with large bulging eyes located near the back of the head found primarily in the eastern half of North America (2)."

"I was _not_ name after some freaky looking bird – ahhh!" Woodcock covered a shriek with both her hands as she caught sight of Robin and Dickcissel staring at her from their seats. "Doppelgangers!"

Woodcock rushed over to Amon, pulling him back into her arms. "Do you see them too? Are they phantoms only I can see? Will you be my protector, oh strong and handsome man?"

Amon tried frantically to pry the girl's hands from around his neck. "Let…go…of…me," he managed to gasp out before Woodcock realized she was nearly choking the life from him.

"Oh, I am _so_ sorry!" she exclaimed.

"What's going on?" Michael asked baffled. "How can you be the new hunter? You don't match the data I found of the hunter."

"Yeah, I know," Woodcock replied, looking up from her futile attempts to soothe Amon. She smiled deviously. "I hacked my files."

"You hacked your files to intentionally trick us?" he responded incredulously. His expression changed to one of thoughtfulness. "That's actually pretty good. You busy Friday night?"

Presently, Bushtit arrived to the briefing room carrying two cups of coffee – one for Robin and the other for herself. Goddamn it, Robin even had _her_ drinking the sludge. Her feet ceased moving when she caught sight of Woodcock, paralyzed was she by shock. Woodcock stared back, before glancing questioningly again towards the two identical girls already at her side.

"This is _not_ happening," Bushtit managed to whisper. Finding her voice, she loudly whined, "_I'm_ supposed to be the important one with the special power."

"What is going on?" Karasuma asked perplexed. "Why are there three replicas of Robin?"

"And why does someone have an inexplicable fetish with unusual North American birds?" Doujima added under her breath.

"I am _not_ a replica of _her_!" Woodcock insisted, pointing a finger at Robin and Bushtit, not entirely sure which one was the original Karasuma had indicated. They _did_ look identical, after all. "And I am _not_ named after a _North American bird_!"

"Let me guess, uh, Woodcock," Sakaki interjected, "you happen to be named after some famous dude no one else has ever heard of, right?"

"No, that's not true," Woodcock indignantly replied. "I was named for Woodcock Johnson, renowned Amazonian Sheik of the Sea Urchins (3). Everyone has heard of _him_."

Karasuma placed her face in her hands with a sigh. The girls were clearly pulling the wool over the other STN-J members' eyes, somehow all involved were they in this prank. Karasuma wasn't surprised to find she no longer cared.

Amon sat in a similar position to Karasuma, but consumed by an entirely different predicament. He couldn't handle another Robin. Especially when this clone appeared even _more_ overt about her feelings than even Bushtit. Amon wondered what exactly he had done to deserve this fate. He, of course, glossed over in his head how he had used Toukou all those years and that he hunted innocent witches without a second thought before turning them into orbo.

"You know," Michael hesitantly began. "Maybe we have been wrong about Robin. Maybe she's not the original."

"I have to be the original," she angrily insisted. "I'm the only child given to Juliano by Toudou."

"Possibly," he slowly responded. "However, what if you were merely a clone of Maria's true child? Or, what if Maria had _four_ children, each possessing a different element?"

Robin appeared ready to cry at Michael's hypothesis. Doujima sympathetically placed a hand on the young witch's shoulder while Bushtit walked over to where Robin sat and wordlessly handed her sister one of the cups of coffee she still held. Robin may have had an addiction to coffee, but now was hardly the time to bring up the subject. She silently took the cup and downed approximately half of the 20-oz container of its contents in a single gulp.

"Why don't we send the girls home to recuperate from the shock they have undoubtedly experienced?" Karasuma suggested. "We can attempt to sort out this mess ourselves without their help for the moment."

"I think that would be the best plan for now," Amon agreed, glad for the rare chance to get away from the obsessive psycho clones.

"And just where is this new impostor supposed to stay?" Bushtit asked angrily. "She's not supposed to live with _us_, is she?"

"The apartment is large enough for all of us, Bushtit," Robin countered. "_You're_ just messy and leave your belongings everywhere."

"I am not messy!" she whined.

Robin sighed in frustration and turned back to the other STN-J members. "Um, Woodcock is more than welcome to stay with us at the apartment."

"Whatever," Woodcock carelessly replied. She looked over to discover Dickcissel staring fascinated at her multitude of facial piercings and gave the timid witch a frightening glare. Dickcissel immediately turned white and looked to the floor, fearing her new identical sister would pummel her is she was caught staring again.

The rest of the STN-J watched as Bushtit angrily strode from the briefing room in a huff with Robin and Dickcissel quietly walking behind. Woodcock stared a moment after her new three identical sisters, slightly baffled at the situation, before shaking her head and following the others. Karasuma turned back to look at the other hunters after the girls had left the office.

"This is definitely a strange situation we now have."

"It is imperative that we find out what Solomon wants with these girls," Amon said.

"_I've been trying_!" Michael exclaimed, frustrated. "The security measures on Headquarters' system are too difficult for even _me_ to crack."

"The statement wasn't directed at you," Amon replied, tiredly. "Maybe Woodcock could help you with hacking the security system."

"Hmm, that might work. I've always wondered what Robin would be like if she was into the gothic look."

"Keep your mind on the task at hand, Michael," Amon admonished, before continuing. "Four Robins with four different elemental crafts. Maybe they're split off from the original child Maria had. Robin is convinced that Juliano only knew of one child. However, it might not have been Robin, but rather an entirely different child."

"You think Robin is just another clone like the other girls?" Sakaki asked doubtfully.

"Are we even sure that these girls are all clones in the first place?" Doujima countered. "Isn't it possible that Maria did have four children and that Toudou simply never told Father Juliano about the others?"

"Yes," Amon slowly replied. "That could be a possibility, except that Juliano was with Maria during the pregnancy. It's fairly obvious when a woman is carrying more than one child. So, either Maria really did carry one child or Juliano is very unobservant – and I mean, _very unobservant_."

"It's going to be difficult telling these girls apart," Karasuma said suddenly. "Amon, I'm curious as to how you have managed to keep track of them so far."

Panic threatened to consume Amon as he quickly thought of a way to skirt the issue of Bushtit's larger assets. "Well," he began slowly. "Woodcock will be easy to tell apart from the others with her, uh, look and Dickcissel always refuses to look at me. And Bushtit…she, uh -"

"She's got larger tits!" Doujima broke in, giggling.

"Oh, so you noticed too?" Sakaki asked with wide eyes. "I thought it was just me."

"I kind of thought so, as well," Karasuma agreed. "I thought it would be rude to mention it, though."

"Same here," Michael nodded.

"I hadn't noticed," Amon said stoically while desperately trying to remain outwardly indifferent. "I was going to point out that Bushtit has a slightly different facial structure than Robin."

"You really didn't notice, Amon?" Doujima asked incredulously. "_You_?"

"No, I didn't," Amon insisted, praying that he was convincing the others. Distractedly, he wondered what Doujima had intimated with that question.

"Back to Robin – is she the original or a clone?" Karasuma questioned thoughtfully while Amon sighed with relief at the change of subject. "And, where did these other clones originate?"

"Maybe the original child Maria carried contained the power of all the elements," Michael interjected. "Someone else came along and split the child's DNA into the four respective elemental replicas."

"Yeah, and they got Robin and Bushtit's powers reversed in the process," Doujima couldn't help but add.

"Hey!" Sakaki exclaimed excitedly as he looked up from his Game Boy. "What if they're not really clones, but _replicants _(4)?"

Everyone in the room turned to give the former rookie hunter a blank stare.

"You know, an android created with organic parts to resemble a living person?"

"Oh, right!" Doujima enthusiastically agreed. "I saw something like that in a movie once. We could send Amon to _examine_ the girls and make sure they're fully human!"

Amon gave the blonde a murderous glare in response before quickly bringing the focus of the room back to the topic at hand. "Who would be able to conduct such a dangerous cloning experiment? Further, was Toudou somehow related to this activity?"

"I assume since I am the only capable of tracking down such info that you are speaking to me?" Michael asked, slightly irritated.

"Yes. I'm sorry, but you are the only one who has the ability to find this information for us."

"Did you just apologize, Amon?" Sakaki asked incredulously.

"Well, actually in this instance it was just a figure of speech."

"Figures," Michael muttered under his breath.

"For the moment," Amon continued, "we'll just wait for Solomon's next move and keep an eye on the girls. I'm going to speak with Father Juliano and ask him about this situation myself."

Everyone nodded in agreement – save Michael who was still grumbling about having to do everything himself. With nothing further to discuss, the STN-J members filed out of the briefing room to return to their daily witch-hunting duties. No one could shake the feeling, however, that something very sinister was hovering just around the corner.

* * *

Author's Notes:

(1) The American Woodcock is an actual bird. Going through the bird guide, I knew that Woodcock would be one of the finalists for the three identical sisters of Robin -- it's just such a funny name for a bird. Additionally, the bird is also called a Bogsucker.

(2) I didn't mean to steal the description almost verbatim from the Audobon's Field Guide, but it was so hilarious that I couldn't resist. Here's the actual description_: A chunky, qual-sized bird with a very long bill and rounded wings…Eyes large, bulging, and located close to back of head_. Sounds lovely doesn't it? I thought the description fit Woodcock just fine (not that she actually resembles the bird in any way). If you can, do a search on the American Woodcock -- they do kind of look freaky. I have a picture of the bird, as well as my version of the clone, on my website. You can find the website under my profile on There should be some images under the Avatar and Fanfiction sections.

(3) Woodcock Johnson, renowned Amazonian Sheikh of the Sea Urchins IS NOT A REAL OR FICTIONAL PERSON. Just to clear up any thoughts on the matter. If you don't get what Johnson is a reference to, _you are too young to be reading this fanfiction_. I randomly picked the Amazon and I had been hoping to use the title of Sheikh for awhile now. I then had to find something rather odd for this guy to be sheikh of and sea urchins definitely seemed to fit. I know, I'm weird.

(4) After _Attack of the Doppelgangers_ didn't work out, I decided to go with replicants until I found out that that word was already taken and meant a certain type of android. Darn it! There just aren't enough synonyms for clone.

* * *

Next Up

Chapter Four: Blue Skies


	4. Chapter Four: Blue Skies

_The following parody is based on the original series WHR owned by Sunrise and Bandai.

* * *

_Touko, having just returned home from work, stood in the doorway of the apartment surveying the pandemonium before her. A multitude of identical long black nineteenth century dresses littered the floor of the main room. Touko looked only mildly astonished to behold the gothic version of Robin arguing with Bushtit. The two girls were apparently disagreeing over whose dresses were scattered around the flat. The other more demure sisters attempted to console the two girls before the argument escalated into an all-out craft fight. With the recent arrival of Dickcissel and Bushtit, Amon's ex-lover was hardly surprised to discover the final puzzle piece taking up residence in her home. 

Touko sighed and proceeded to the kitchen to pour herself a small cup of sake. Unlike Amon, she really hadn't done anything to deserve this fate. Before the other clones had arrived, Touko had known that Robin was the wedge that ultimately destroyed her relationship with Amon, and had made living with the young witch very difficult at the time. Now, here was Touko still living not only with Robin, but her three identical sisters to boot. Touko was aware that Amon was also not coping too well with the addition of more replicas and a devious part of her was glad for it. The bastard deserved to suffer after abandoning her for the tot also known as Robin. Touko cringed as she heard a voice call out from behind.

"Hey, Touko's home!" Bushtit exclaimed.

"Touko," Robin began. "This is Woodcock. She's an earth craft user." Robin turned back to her newly discovered quadruplet. "This is Touko's flat."

"Touko and Amon used to, _you know_," Bushtit piped up.

"Bushtit!" Robin exclaimed. "That's rude."

"What?" she responded, perplexed at Robin's reaction. "It's the truth."

The goth chick nodded as her eyes ran over Touko's form. "I can see why – I'd definitely do her."

"_Woodcock_!" Robin vehemently hissed.

The replica proceeded to ignore the original sister and gave Touko an scrutinizing look. "Did you guys ever engage in any funky butt-sex when you two were shacking up?"

Touko, who had remained silent for the entire exchange, wordlessly picked up her cup and bottle of sake and headed towards her room. Yes, the bastard definitely deserved to be surrounded by these psycho clones. A large part of her further hoped that there might be even _more_ Robins to torture the man indefinitely. As Touko began to close the door of her bedroom, she distantly heard the young witches resume their argument.

"This is so obviously _your_ black dress," Bushtit angrily asserted.

"And just why would _I_ wear such a tacky thing?" Woodcock replied.

"_Tacky_? They're basically identical! Calling _my_ dress tacky is the same thing as calling _your_ dress tacky."

"Absolutely not. See my dress differs here…and here…as well as –"

Touko shut the door.

* * *

"You look tired, Robin," Michael commented when the young witch walked by his desk as she returned from her trip to the coffeepot the next morning. 

"I _am_ tired," she affirmed. "Originally, Dickcissel and I shared a room so Bushtit could be alone. She, uh, likes her space. When Woodcock arrived, the only available place for her to sleep was in Bushtit's room. However, they don't exactly get along -- at all."

Michael nodded. "I kind of noticed that."

"They lasted about thirty minutes together before starting a huge argument. We decided that Bushtit should share a room with me, since we've been together the longest and Dickcissel could move into Woodcocks's room. We spent almost the entire night moving their belongings around."

"Sounds terrible." At that moment, Dickcissel sat down at the desk beside Michael's that she shared with Amon and gave him a disapproving look at the hamburger he was eating.

"What was that about?" Michael whispered to Robin.

"Oh, Dickcissel is a vegan."

"Really?"

Robin nodded as Amon returned to the STN-J office. As usual, he wasted no time in getting to the point.

"Have you found anything new, Michael?"

The young hacker shook his head. "I'm afraid not."

Amon nodded in lieu of a verbal response and turned to Robin. "Come with me."

The young witch happily left Michael's side and followed him into the briefing room with Woodcock and Bushtit simultaneously glaring after her. Dickcissel hadn't noticed the two's exit as she began lecturing Michael on the ethics of eating meat. Instead of taking her usual place, Robin sat down across from Amon. Before she could speak, the hunter began first.

"How is Woodcock adjusting?"

"She seems fine – though we did spend the entire night moving Dickcissel and Bushtit to different rooms because she doesn't get along with Bushtit very well."

Amon swallowed and hesitated before asking his next question. "And Touko? How is she coping with the situation?"

Robin's face immediately fell. "Well, I don't think she was happy last night with the moving and arguing, but otherwise she is fine. You don't have to worry about Touko."

Amon nodded. "Have you ever heard of some special power occuring when four different elemental craft users combine?"

Robin frowned. "No, I haven't, though it does seem to make logical sense."

"That's what I think Solomon intends with the four of you, but I don't have anything else to go on."

"Amon, have you learned about any more new information about our origins yet?"

The dark hunter shook his head as he answered. "No. Michael hasn't been able to find anything of interest."

"Oh." Robin sat back in her seat, disappointed. To her surprise, Amon reached over and covered her hand with his own while giving her a concerned look.

"It will be all right, Robin," he reassured her. "We will find out where your sisters came from and what Solomon wants. Just be patient."

Amon quickly retrieved his hand when Bushtit appeared in the doorway of the briefing room. "That Kosaka guy wants to talk to us about Woodcock."

Back in the main office, Kosaka stood with his hands upon his hips surveying the hunters before him as Bushtit, Robin and Amon returned. "We need to decide what to do with, uh, Woodcock. At this point, it would be impractical for the girl to be assigned to Amon's team. Instead, I'm going to assign her to one of you." He made a sweeping motion to indicate that he meant Karasuma, Doujima and Sakaki.

Immediately, the three hunter's eyes widened in panic as they began at once to frantically explain why they were unsuited for such an assignment. Amidst the babbling, Sakaki, for once, made a coherent argument.

"Why not assign Woodcock to Doujima since she's the only hunter who doesn't have a partner?"

A silence fell over the room as everyone pondered this conundrum.

"Well," Kosaka began slowly. "That's probably because Doujima tends to be unreliable."

"I am not unreliable!" the blonde exclaimed indignantly.

"Well, if that's how you feel, then you can be partnered with Woodcock."

Doujima's face clouded in anger. "Hey! You tricked me!"

"If desk space is an issue," Michael interjected, "Woodcock could always share a desk with me."

Kosaka looked doubtfully at the voluminous amounts of clutter scattered upon the hacker's desk.

"I'm sure he'll be more than willing to keep his workstation clean for me," Woodcock piped up, at the same time giving Michael a coy smile.

He returned a smile. "Sure. Anything you want."

"Very well then," Kosaka said, obviously uncomfortable with the googly eyes between the Michael and the young witch. "Woodcock will be partnered with Doujima and share a desk with Michael." He turned his attention to Amon. "I need you to use your Ultimate Technique of Optometrist no Jutsu (1) on Woodcock before she goes out on any hunts."

Amon rolled his eyes. "Why don't we just take her to a licensed optometrist?"

Kosaka looked baffled that he had overlooked such an obvious solution. "Of course. I guess that would make more sense. Doujima, since you're now Woodcock's partner, you can take her to the STN's optometrist."

The others watched Doujima leave the office with Woodcock in tow, grumbling all the way.

"All right," Kosaka said as he clapped his hands together. "Everyone back to work!"

* * *

Michael stood patiently waiting by the elevator as Amon, Robin, Bushtit and Dickcissel arrived from their latest witch-hunt. The serious look upon the hacker's face immediately communicated to Amon that Michael had important news. Amon quickly exited the elevator and hurried towards the young man. The three identical sisters quickly followed as well. 

"What is it, Michael?" Amon asked.

"We have a familiar guest," came the reply.

The girls looked perplexed as Amon nodded. "I expected as much."

"I figured. He wants to see all of you right away. Woodcock is already with him in the far room down the hall."

Amon nodded and set off in the aforementioned direction, the young witches trailing after him. Bushtit and Dickcissel gave each other baffled looks while Robin trotted alongside Amon with a concerned look upon her face. _Finally_, Amon thought inwardly. _Finally, we just might get some answers_.

* * *

Father Juliano sat regally in his chair with his hands resting atop of his cane situated before him. The tall hat elegantly perched upon the crown of his head gave off a rather distinguished air about the man. Presently, the Father's eyes were fixated on the Xerox of granddaughter called Woodcock who stared straight back at him from her own seat. The man's brain seemed unable to grasp the image of a gothic Robin with nose and eyebrow piercings. So fixated was Father Juliano that he did not notice the growing anger simmering within Woodcock brought about by his gawking. 

The door behind the clone opened to reveal the foursome. With a gasp, Robin rushed over to her grandfather and knelt before him. After he had had greeted the girl, Father Juliano's gaze shifted to Bushtit and Dickcissel still standing in the doorway.

"Who's the old fart?" Bushtit asked suspiciously.

"Bushtit," Robin hissed. "This is my – I mean _our_ – grandfather."

"This is Father Juliano?" Dickcissel inquired quietly.

"Yes," Amon spoke up from behind the girls. He brushed past them and made his way towards the old man. "I didn't think you'd come so soon. I expect that this means you have found some information on the girls?"

"Yes," he solemnly replied before returning his attention to the Bushtit and Dickcissel. "Would either of you like to receive a blessing before we continue?" Sensing their hesitation, Father Juliano continued. "Or, are you atheists like, uh, Woodcock here."

"My veganism prevents me from accepting Catholic doctrine," Dickcissel bravely asserted.

"I just don't like you," Bushtit remarked.

Father Juliano closed his eyes momentarily and sighed before returning his attentions to Amon. "I suspect you have behaved yourself and kept your hands off of my granddaughter – or maybe I shoud say, granddaughters?" He raised his eyebrow in a knowing way that instantly irked Amon.

"Why on earth would you think such a thing?" he replied, all the while avoiding Robin's face as he spoke. "What have you learned?"

Deciding to let the situation slide, including the way Amon pointedly ignored Robin, Father Juliano spoke. "Yes, I have discovered some important information on the girls. It seems – my child, whatever possessed you to get a fifth eyebrow ring? Wasn't four plenty?"

When Woodcock ignored his inquisition, the priest resumed his former train of thought. "As I believed, my daughter Maria only carried one child. It is, however, impossible at this time to confirm that Robin was the original child."

"And the clones?" Amon asked, ignoring the angry looks the girls sent his way.

Father Juliano hesitated before continuing. "It seems that Toudou was involved in a secret cloning project funded by Solomon. Apparently, the organization wanted to create some sort of clone army to hunt down witches worldwide. The project was discarded shortly before Toudou began Project Robin citing lack of funding. Most, however, believe Solomon shut down the project due to the obvious dangers of having a army of genetically engineered witches. Internal records show that DNA samples from Maria's child were stolen from Toudou's lab shortly after his death. It is believed that this person created the clones standing before you today."

The room filled with stunned silence as the group absorbed the priest's words.

"The situation does get worse."

Amon looked up sharply to the man's face. "How so?"

"It is the reason why Solomon sent the other clones to Robin." Father Juliano paused for dramatic effect. "There are _more_. There is a whole clone army of Robin's hiding out somewhere in Japan."

"They just happen to be in Japan?" Amon replied doubtfully.

"Yes. It's rather convenient isn't it?"

"Just a little. How many clones are there rumored to be?"

"The precise number is unknown."

"So, we're supposed to look for this clone army only knowing that they look like Robin and they're somewhere in Japan?"

"Basically."

"And Solomon assumes that the four elementals will yield a fifth more powerful craft when combined?"

"Yes."

"Is there a precedent for this assumption?"

"No. It just seems logical."

"Robin, Bushtit, Dickcissel and Woodcock all have similar backgrounds. They all grew up in convents controlled by Solomon in rural Italy. Have you checked to see if there are anymore?"

"Of course. I have searched the Solomon international database and only the four girls in this room were listed."

Amon thought for a moment. "What are we supposed to do with the clones once when we find them?"

"I assume you are to kill them."

"Kill them?" Amon repeated incredulously. "We couldn't do such a thing."

"Why not?" Father Juliano inquired, suspecting the answer. "You already hunt many innocent witches and turn them into orbo at the Factory."

"But that's different!" Amon protested.

"How so?"

"They don't look like Robin!" The moment the words were out of his mouth, Amon swore in his mind.

Father Juliano sat in his chair with a triumphant look upon his face. _I knew it_, he inwardly gloated. The old man regarded the outwardly agitated hunter a moment before speaking. "You are a Solomon hunter and will do as you are ordered – at least _this tim_e you will. Now, I would like to speak with Robin privately."

Amon stormed from the room towards the main office of the STN-J with the other three sisters hot on his trail. The other hunters and Michael looked up surprised as he ungraciously stomped into the room. Amon randomly glared at the occupants before pointing at the room situated across from him.

"Briefing room," he tersely stated. When the others just stared at him baffled, he followed it with another succinct word. "_Now_."

Slightly afraid of the angry neurotic hunter with amazing accuracy on the handgun, the STN-J members hurriedly crowded into the room as ordered. Similar to the office situation, there was also a severe lack of seating in the briefing room, but the group did their best to quickly find themselves a spot. Dickcissel took Amon's seat when it became evident he intended to pace the room. He suddenly stopped and faced the others.

"We have a problem. Apparently, someone in Solomon created a clone army of engineered super witches from DNA samples of Maria's original child. Now, Solomon wants _us_ to get rid of them."

"That's why Solomon sent the other three girls to us? They have some sort of ultimate technique to take down a clone army?" Karasuma asked.

Amon nodded. "That's the theory, though it's still merely an assumption."

"So then, Robin really is a clone?" Doujima asked doubtfully.

"It's unclear either way. In any case, that's not the issue at hand."

"We're really supposed to kill a bunch of Robins?" Sakaki interjected. "I mean, yeah, Bushtit bugs me, but it's not like I seriously want to _kill_ her or anything."

Bushtit looked indignant. "Hey! Why are you using _me_ as an example? Woodcock is pretty annoying too!"

"How do our four Robin clones fit into this clone army?" Karasuma asked, bringing the focus back to the topic at hand.

"I'm not sure," Amon answered. "I think a lot of things will be answered when we find them."

"Where do we begin to look for them?" Doujima asked.

"They are supposedly somewhere in Japan. I want Woodcock and Michael to begin searching by computer. Also, I wouldn't be surprised if the clones attempt to contact us first. They must be aware of the four girls already here. Be on the lookout for familiar faces when wandering around the city."

Presently, Father Juliano appeared with Robin in the briefing room. The occupants turned to give a hostile glare to the aging man – which he ignored. "I will be returning to Italy now. When you find the clone army, Headquarters will contact you with your orders."

With that, the man turned and exited the conference room. Robin's gaze followed her grandfather's form as he left, a pained expression upon her face. She was clearly torn between what she knew to be right, her duty to her job, and her mixed feelings about her grandfather. Robin sighed as she pondered her predicament.

Across the room, Amon watched the young witch despair and wished he could somehow help her through this difficult time. He was caught off guard when he turned to find Bushtit watching him intently, clearly unhappy with his fixation on her sister. Amon quickly shifted his gaze towards Dickcissel, who proceeded with her usual pattern of blushing and furtively looking away. His eyes then settled upon Woodcock canoodling with Michael. At least there was one identical sister who wasn't preoccupied with him. Strange, too, since Woodcock had seemed like the one who would be the hardest to deter.

Amon looked back at Robin still turned away at the door. Who was he kidding? There was no way he could handle an army of Robin clones when he couldn't cope with one. And just how many clones comprised a clone army anyway? Twenty-five? Fifty? One hundred? _One thousand_? Amon could definitely not handle one thousand sweet giggling yet obsessive Robins. Why did he have to fall for a teenage girl like Robin to begin with?

As if she had heard him speak, the young witch turned to discover Amon looking at her and gave him her most winning smile. He began to melt internally as he immediately remembered. Outwardly, Amon predictably gave her his most dismissive look and turned back to address the room. There was important work that needed to be done, and he couldn't afford to get any more sidetracked by his little Lolita. Not even if there were a thousand of them.

* * *

Author's Notes: 

(1) The ultimate technique of optometrist no jutsu is a reference to the manga and anime series Naruto – for those of you still living under a rock. I just knew someone wasn't going to understand the reference and end up confused, so I thought it would be best to make a quick mention of it. Why exactly does everyone have like three or four ultimate techniques in Naruto? I mean, I know the series has been going for over five years, but could't Kishimoto have planned out the ultimate technique stuff a _little_ better? And speaking of this, wasn't the wind scar supposed to be Tetsusaiga's ultimate technique in Inu-Yasha? Now there's also the red Tetsusaiga and the backlash wave and I'm sure at some point, there will be yet another ultimate technique for the sword. Anyway, I digress.

* * *

Next Up 

Chapter Five: Mysterious Apparitions


	5. Chapter Five: Mysterious Apparitions

Once upon a time, there was a man and a woman. One day the man turned to his wife and said, "Hey, you know what would be really funny to put in your fanfiction?" He then proceeded to recount an absurd scenario featuring a certain shoujo anime to which his wife replied along the lines of "Are you **kidding**? That is the **dumbest** thing I have **ever** heard. I will **never** put something like that in **my** fanfiction."

But luck was on the man's side, and the woman's muse had found this suggestion to be very interesting indeed. For the next couple of days, this muse came and whispered snippets of story in the woman's ear until one day, the woman grew very excited and started writing.

Alas, the ending was not what the woman had envisioned. "There is no way Robin would do something like that," she protested. But the muse assured her that this was the true ending, and the woman had much faith in this muse.

So here's the deal. If you like this story, I will thank my muse and continue to seek her guidance. If, on the other hand, you think it is lame or unfunny, I will fire her. But before doing so, I will beat her to a bloody pulp screaming, "See! I _told_ you that wasn't funny!"

* * *

___The following parody is based on the series WHR owned by Sunrise and Bandai.

* * *

_  
"Hey, what's this?" 

Michael looked up from his computer to Bushtit standing beside his desk. His gaze shifted to the small cardboard parcel in her hands.

"That came for Amon today."

Bushtit frowned as she inspected the package. "Hmm. It's from an anime video store. Do you think it would be wrong of me to open it?"

"Yes," Michael replied without missing a beat.

The young witch glared at the hacker typing furiously at the computer before returning her attention to the box. Curious, she began to vigorously shake the box causing Michael to jerk his head upward in surprise.

"Hey, don't do that!" he yelled.

"It sounds like a DVD," she remarked, ignoring the irate look Michael sent her way.

"That's hardly surprising. It _did_ come from an anime store."

Bushtit was thinking hard for a suitable retort when Woodcock and Doujima returned from a hunt. The gothic sister stormed over to where Bushtit stood.

"Why are you bothering him?" Woodcock demanded as she rudely shoved the girl away from the desk she shared with Michael.

"I'm not!" she angrily shot back. "I just wondered who had received this package."

At that very moment, Amon, Robin and Dickcissel returned from their hunt as well. Amon froze as he caught sight of the box still within Bushtit's grasp. _Goddamn it, not again_. His mind continued to curse as he strode over and snatched away the package. Before anyone could question him on his even _more_ rude than normal behaviour, Amon turned on his heel and left the office.

"What was _that_ about?" Sakaki asked in a bewildered tone.

"Hmm. It must be related to that video he received," Bushtit speculated.

"What kind do you think it is?" Doujima wondered.

"We really should get back to work," Karasuma chided.

"It could be porno," Woodcock mused as she ignored the veteran hunter.

"That does seem likely judging by Amon's reaction," Sakaki agreed.

Both Robin and Dickcissel looked horrified at this suggestion.

"I…I don't think that Amon would be into that…sort of thing," Robin managed to stammer.

"Oh, _come on_," Doujima rolled her eyes. "He's a _guy_. That's what guys are into."

"Maybe Amon just doesn't want us to know he watches anime," Dickcissel quietly suggested.

This time everyone except Robin rolled their respective eyes.

* * *

"Grandma, I thought this story was about a bunch of freaky clones." 

"If you wish to find out what becomes of the clones, you'll have to sit through this interlude."

* * *

Amon stood in the detention center on the ground floor of Raven's flat still holding the box. He closed his eyes and willed his body to calm. It didn't work much since Amon was _furious_. He had instructed the anime store on several occasions not to send shipments to his place of work. The other times this had happened, Amon had managed to intercept the packages before anyone discovered them. Apparently, his luck had run out. 

Amon's eyes drifted back to the package. It had been so close -- he had almost been found out. Amon didn't know what he would have done if the other STN-J members had discovered this particular side of him. In fact, it was one of his deepest inner secrets. Not even Nagira or Touko knew anything of the matter and they were perhaps the closest individuals to him. It went without saying that Robin had no clue either.

Gently, Amon peeled off the packing tape and opened the box. Inside lay four boxed sets of perfectly shrink-wrapped DVDs. He had waited a year and a half for his most favorite anime series to be released in a special anniversary edition. Amon again wondered what on earth would he have done if the others had discovered his secret. Humiliating didn't even begin to describe the situation. He might actually have to resort to disposing his comrades. Come to think of it, he did know of a sparsely populated region nearby that he might be able to get rid of multiple bodies. Of course. It was so obvious now. Amon could lure his teammates to his preplanned spot and take care of them there. Well, everyone except Robin. There was no way he could ever harm Robin, and who knew? She most likely would accept his bizarre taste in anime without question.

Amon suddenly realized that he had methodically plotted exactly how to murder his comrades over a few DVDs. He shook his head in an attempt to clear his mind. Amon closed up the box and headed back towards the STN-J office. On his way, he slunk into the deserted male locker room and ungracefully shoved the package into the back of his locker. Amon hurriedly left the room to return to the office. In his agitation, however, Amon failed to take notice of the figure lurking around the corner, watching him.

* * *

"Hey Bushtit, come here!" Sakaki whispered as he motioned to the clone.

"What is it?" she asked, a little to loudly for Sakaki's liking.

"Shh!" He clapped a hand over her mouth, cursing that she had to be so oblivious. "Where's Amon?"

"He went to lunch early today." Bushtit gave the young man a questioning look when his face lit up.

"Look what I found," he mischievously said before pulling out Amon's package from behind his back.

"Oh!" Bushtit exclaimed as her eyes sparkled.

"What are you two up to?" Michael asked as he strolled up to the two conferring hunters.

"He got a hold of Amon's package!" Bushtit practically shouted.

Sakaki grimaced. "You really shouldn't say things like that."

At Bushtit's words, Doujima rushed over. "Really?" she asked eagerly.

"Let's go into the conference room," Michael suggested. The hacker knew he really shouldn't be involved in such illicit activities, but he had to admit he was unusually intrigued by the situation.

All of the members of the STN-J filed into the briefing room, including Kosaka and Hattori. Even Karasuma shockingly joined in on the excitement. Karasuma had worked with the man for many years and yet knew practically nothing about his personal life. Well, she _did_ know he had young taste in women, but besides that, very little else.

"Hey!" Sakaki yelped as Bushtit ripped the package from his hands.

She froze as she beheld the box's contents. The room grew deathly still in anticipation. Her expression suddenly changed from shock to one of pure delight. "Oh, I just _love_ this series!"

Bushtit held up one of the boxed sets. The cover read: _100th Anniversary of the Greatest Anime of the 20th Century_. Below that, read _Marmalade Boy: Volume One_.

"He got the whole set!"

"_Whaaat_?" Sakaki and Doujima exclaimed in unison.

"See, I _told_ you it wasn't porno," Robin remarked triumphantly. She always had faith in her man.

"Amon likes **_Marmalade Boy_**?" Karasuma asked, thoroughly bewildered by this turn of events. Maybe it was just Robin's young influence rubbing off on him. Maybe. But not likely.

"No wonder he didn't want us to find this out," Kosaka muttered at Hattori. "I'd be so humiliated.

Amon unluckily picked that exact moment to return from his early lunch. He froze in horror as his eyes landed on the boxed set in Bushtit's hands. His mind raced as he frantically thought of a way to deny his obsession with _Marmalade Boy_.

"Uh, that's…that was, uh, a mistake the video store made."

"Oh _really_?" Doujima asked, obviously unconvinced.

Amon sinkingly realized that no one in the room believed his story. He forcefully squashed the idea struggling to reemerge from his previous musings in the detention center that screamed for him to get rid of them.

"Yes. I had ordered _Riveted Dreams_ (1), but they sent me _that_ instead."

"So, why were you acting all funny when the package arrived?" Sakaki asked suspiciously.

"I…uh, try to keep my professional and personal life separate."

"If you don't want them, can I have the DVDs?" Bushtit asked, a hint of hope in her voice.

"No," Amon tersely replied. "Those videos were probably expensive. I'll need them for an exchange."

"Do you want me to take care of that for you?" Michael asked deviously.

Amon looked around the room knowing he was caught. Even though he understood this, part of him wouldn't let himself admit it to his comrades The only way to save face now was to let Michael work out the "misunderstanding." Amon attempted to look as dismissive as possible.

"Sure. That will save me a lot of hassle. Thanks."

The group watched as Amon nonchalantly exited the briefing room.

"Does anyone here actually buy that explanation for a second?" Michael asked. Everyone wordlessly shook their heads.

"Hey!" Doujima exclaimed as she leaned forward, an idea suddenly forming in her mind. "What if Amon watches _other_ shoujo anime as well? Maybe he has a _whole collection_ at his flat."

"Has anyone here ever been to Amon's apartment before?" Sakaki asked thoughtfully. Again, everyone shook their heads no.

"Amon doesn't have an address listed in the hunter profile database," Michael commented.

"Would you be able to track it down with your hacking skills?" Karasuma inquired.

"Miss Karasuma!" Kosaka roared, shocked at her behaviour.

"What?" she asked innocently. Karasuma, usually far more rule abiding, was so engrossed with the situation that it was quickly becoming an obsession.

"Aren't _you_ interested, sir?" Hattori meekly asked.

"Well, actually I am," the boss admitted. "Fine. Go ahead with your search. Just don't tell me anything about how you did it."

"Sure," Michael nodded. "It shouldn't be a problem. I should be able to track the address by tomorrow morning. Let's meet here early tomorrow."

Everyone agreed.

* * *

"Well?" Bushtit asked impatiently. "Did you find anything about Amon's flat?" 

Michael gave the young witch an annoyed glare before turning to face the STN-J members. Once again, they had assembled in the darkened briefing room. He noted that everyone breathlessly awaited his next words. Part of him was ecstatic that the hunters were once again acknowledging him.

"Just as I had thought, it was quite easy for a hacker of my caliber to track down the address to Amon's flat."

"You're great!" Doujima gushed. "We should do something for you sometime."

"Don't worry about," Woodcock began nonchalantly. "I've already given Michael his reward."

"Ugh!" Bushtit responded disgusted. "You didn't do anything at the office did you? Like on my desk?"

"What would you do if I told you we did?"

"_Anyway_," Michael broke in. "I found the address, now, what should we do?"

"We need to break in to his apartment while he's out," Sakaki responded seriously.

"Isn't this going a little too far?" Dickcissel meekly asked. She sighed when the others continued their discussion without a hint of acknowledgement.

"We'll need to distract him some way," Robin stated excitedly. She wasn't particularly interested in Amon's anime collection, but rather the thought of being in his flat. "Bushtit is good at distracting people."

"No way," she adamantly replied. "I want to see Amon's place too." Bushtit's face took on a dreamy quality as she continued. "I could see how he decorates his apartment, maybe lie on his bed, or even look through his dresser --"

"You're not going to go through Amon's personal belongings," Karasuma interjected. "We're just going to, uh, catch a glimpse of his personal life. And, I highly doubt that Amon has gone out of his way to decorate his flat."

Bushtit angrily folded her arms across her chest and looked away.

"I'm sure I could distract him easily enough," Woodcock volunteered. "Just tell me where and when."

"How about tonight after work?" Karasuma suggested.

When no one had any complaints, she continued. "We'll act as though we're going home and rendezvous back here at the office."

"Sounds good, Miho," Doujima agreed.

* * *

Unusually agitated by the recent circumstances relating to the DVDs, Amon didn't notice anything amiss when he arrived to the office that morning. Normally, he would have caught the furtive glances passed back and forth between his comrades or the fact that everyone - even Bushtit - was already at the office when he arrived. Today, however, Amon was oblivious to the world. 

"Amon," Woodcock hesitantly approached the hunter. "I have an optometrist appointment and I was wondering if you would be able to take me today after work."

Amon looked distractedly up from his terminal. "Can't Doujima take you?"

"No. I've already asked around."

"Not even Karasuma?"

"_I just said that I've already asked everyone_," she responded impatiently. "Can you take me or not?"

Amon sighed as he looked at her. As usual, he wondered why Woodcock felt the need to disfigure herself with so many facial piercings. "When is the appointment?"

"We should be able to make it if we leave right after work ends."

"Fine. I'll take you."

The remainder of the day dragged by for what seemed like weeks to the hunters and lone hacker. As soon as the day ended, Woodcock rushed Amon out of Raven's Flat for her bogus optometrist appointment while the rest of the STN-J members pretended to leave just as they had planned earlier. Within ten minutes, they had reassembled in the briefing room.

"All right," Karasuma began, taking charge of the situation. "We don't have much time. To speed things up, we'll take two of the STN-J vans."

Everyone eagerly made their way to the garage, giddy with anticipation. Ten minutes later, the van pulled up to a rather ordinary, nondescript apartment complex. The vans circled around once before parking on a neighboring side street. The group futilely attempted to blend into the scenery as they made their way to the building - not an easy task considering most of them were covered in black slinking around in the late afternoon. Inside, they quickly swept through the lobby until they found the elevator.

"Anyone nervous?" Michael asked as he pressed the button for the fifth floor.

* * *

"Are you sure you have the right address?" Amon asked Woodcock annoyed. 

"As I said before, this is the address the receptionist gave me."

Amon made another circle before concluding that the office was definitely not where it was supposed to be. "It's not here."

"Why don't I give the office a quick call?"

"Yes. Why don't you do that," he tersely responded.

Woodcock checked her watch as she pretended to dial a number in her mobile phone. Forty-five minutes had passed since she had dragged Amon from Raven's Flat. That should be more than enough time for the hunters to have accomplished their mission.

"No one's answering," Woodcock said with a frown.

Amon sighed in frustration. "What do you want to do then?"

"I guess you might as well take me home, then."

"Very well."

Amon turned the car around and proceeded towards Touko's flat. Once they had arrived, Woodcock gave a rare word of gratitude before leaving the vehicle. As she began to close the car door, an idea occurred to her. Mischievously, she leaned forward.

"Would you like to come up?"

Amon, absorbed in his reverie, jerked his head to look at the Robin clone. "Wh-what?"

"Would you like a little coffee, or perhaps some whiskey?" she asked slyly. "Maybe visit with Touko?"

"Um, no, that's all right," he managed to reply as he averted his eyes. He had no desire to be in an enclosed space with Robin, her clones, Touko or any possible combination of them at the moment. It was all just too confusing.

"Suit yourself," Woodcock said smiling knowingly.

The young witch watched as Amon pulled away from the curb before reaching into her coat for her phone. She frowned when she received a message from the carrier stating that the number was not available. Woodcock got the same message when she called Michael. In growing horror, she discovered that none of her coworkers' numbers were available. Her eyes widened suddenly as she realized why she couldn't contact anyone. Was it possible that Amon was the kind of man who tempested his home?

* * *

"I can't find _anything_!" Bushtit whined. 

The group had diligently searched Amon's flat from one end to the other but proved unsuccessful to root out any more shoujo anime. It wasn't as if there was much to search through either since the apartment was unsurprisingly bare. As for the object of their search, there wasn't a single TV to behold, much less any DVDs. Karasuma sighed in defeat.

"Well, I don't have any other ideas for where Amon could hide his DVDs. I guess we'll have to give up now."

"No way!" Doujima countered. "He's just _got_ to have a weird freaky DVD collection hidden around somewhere." She brightened suddenly. "Maybe he has some sort of secret room."

She looked perplexed as the rest of the group gave her a doubtful look. "What? We _are_ talking about Amon."

At that moment, Bushtit sighed and leaned against a bookcase in the main room. The young witch let out a shriek as the bookcase clicked and swung inward suddenly. The others turned, freezing as they caught sight of the secret entryway.

"God, that is so stereotypical!" Michael exclaimed as he smacked his forward. "I would have expected something more creative from Amon."

The group curiously gathered around the entrance, trying to make out the contents of the dim room before Bushtit took the initiative and foolishly charged blindly inside. She didn't get very far before she stopped dead in her tracks.

"Oh. My. God."

"What is it?" Sakaki asked annoyed. "Can't you stop being all cryptic for once – oh, my."

Inside, was the greatest collection of shoujo anime ever amassed by a single individual in the history of mankind. Bookcase after bookcase stood filled floor to ceiling with various titles. A ginormous flat-screen, high definition plasma TV with full digital surround sound occupied an entire wall. Bushtit hesitantly moved forward to investigate the DVDs as the others began to look around.

But the collection of shoujo anime was not the _only_ surprise the group discovered.

"_Oh my hell!_" Doujima exclaimed in girlish delight as she pointed towards a rather large shelving unit_. "Amon's got the hugest collection of anime porno I have ever seen! _See_, **I told you so**_!"

"Hey, are you two okay?" Michael asked worriedly.

Robin and Dickcissel collectively looked as though they would die from shock as they gazed in horror at Amon's extensive pornography collection. Neither had seriously expected to find such a thing in Amon's home.

"Hmm," Karasuma murmured as she examined the anime porno. "It seems that all of these titles feature a man roughly twenty-five years old getting it on with a fifteen year old girl."

Michael grinned wickedly while Robin turned bright red behind him. "_That's_ hardly surprising, huh?"

"Nope, it's not," Doujima giddily agreed.

Behind her, Karasuma and Sakaki exchanged a look before both quickly swiped a porno DVD from the shelf and jammed it under their respective coats.

Alas, luck was still hiding her beautiful face from Amon when he predictably returned to his flat at that precise moment. Still pissed was he by the wild goose chase from earlier, Amon failed to see that his door was unlocked. His eyes widened as he finally noticed that not only was his secret room open, but also inhabited by his fellow STN-J comrades. For the first time in his life, Amon thought he would faint.

"Uh oh," Doujima whispered as the group spun around at the sound of Amon's entrance. "We're busted."

Anger quickly fell upon Amon and he purposefully strode towards the doorway of the secret room. "What. Are. You. Doing. In. My. Flat."

The group stood motionless, mouths agape, unable to do anything but stare at him from the shock of being caught. Amon's hands instinctively clenched as he fought the urge to whip out his orbo gun and open fire on every one of his treacherous comrades. Well, everyone except Robin, of course, who currently stared at a phantom spot upon the floor, unable to look Amon in the face.

"Wait," Sakaki blurted out suddenly, rather perplexed. "Wasn't Woodcock supposed to warn us when Amon came home?"

Amon's face, if possible, darkened even further. "Woodcock? She was in on this little field trip of yours as well?"

At that moment, said witch appeared breathless in Amon's apartment. "Goddamn, you drive fast!"

"_Why didn't you call us_!" Bushtit shouted at her sister, near panic.

"I did!" Woodcock protested. "_How was I to know the son of a bitch freakin' tempests his goddamn home_?"

"He does what?" Sakaki asked confused.

"Oh, I see," Michael nodded. "Tempesting is when one seals off a room from electronic emanations, usually by way of copper filled windows and such. Signals are unable to leave or enter the room. It's very expensive."

"Yes, it is," Amon spoke through clenched teeth.

"Um, Amon?" Bushtit said hesitantly. "Would it be okay if I borrowed _Fruits Basket_? I haven't been able to rent the last –"

"Bushtit?" Amon ominously began, still speaking through clenched teeth.

"Y-yes?" she replied, her sparkling green eyes widening in dread.

"_Don't say another word_!"

And, for once, Bushtit complied.

"A-Amon?" Karasuma said slowly, trying in vain to think of an excuse she could give her irate coworker.

Amon held up a hand in her direction, not bothering to look at her. "Get. Out. Of. My. Flat. _Now_."

The group wordlessly began to file out of the secret video room. Sakaki paused as he passed Amon. "Hey man, I'm sorry. We really had no idea about the, uh, _porno collection_," the last part furtively whispered behind a hand.

The dark hunter didn't bother to look at the young man. "_I told you to leave_."

Fear spreading over his face, Sakaki hurried from the room.

Only Robin was left standing inside the room, partially turned away from her partner. Though he was still furious, Amon found himself curious as to why she remained.

Robin waited until the others had completely left the flat before she spoke. "So, I'll see you tomorrow?" she asked softly, still fixated upon a spot on the floor.

Taken aback slightly, Amon hesitated a moment before replying. "Yes."

Robin glanced briefly at her partner and nodded before she silently made her way towards the door, lightly brushing against Amon as she exited. The young witch was greatly relieved to see that her comrades had already left the floor. There wasn't any way she could have hidden the abnormally wide smile upon her lips. She pushed the button to the elevator and leaned against the wall with her forehead on her arm, fighting hard to keep her emotions in check. Robin barely succeeded as she dived inside the elevator and launched into a near hysterical fit of laughter.

* * *

"I hope Robin will be okay," Karasuma remarked worriedly as she paced the lobby of the first floor to Amon's flat. "That was quite a shock for someone so innocent." 

"Hey, the sooner she comes to terms with the real world, the better," Doujima intoned, barely glancing up from her magazine while she sat reading in a stained upholstered chair.

At that moment, the elevator doors opened to reveal a solemn Robin standing inside. Karasuma rushed over to her and wrapped a consoling arm around the frail girl's shoulders.

"Are you all right, Robin?"

Robin gave a weak smile to the older hunter. "Yes. I-I think I'll be fine."

* * *

Author's Notes: 

(1) Riveted Dreams is some sort of shonen anime I made up for the story. If there is actually something named this, it is completely coincidental.

I would like to thank my husband for once being a signals analyst in the US Navy which thus resulted in the idea of Amon tempesting his home. I never would have known about such things any other way. :) Thanks hubby!

Also, my final note is for the story intimating that _Marmalade Boy_ is the greatest anime of the twentieth century. This is obviously a joke. We all know that distinction goes to _Super Milk Chan_.


End file.
